Stuck
by SenTheElf
Summary: After a UFO lands in the woods, Zim and Dib get themselves in a 'sticky' situation and they have to work with each other to get unstuck. A ZaDf fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

"DIB-FILTH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Zim screamed at the large-headed boy who had just came out of some shrubs.

"I'm here to see what had landed in the forest, but the question is WHY are YOU here!? Is this spacecraft filled with your alien buddies!?" Dib questioned.

"No, the Tallest still haven't had a chance to visit yet. I don't know who this is yet. I hope they have ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS!"

"Robot death what...? Anyway, I don't have time for you NOW, Zim! I NEED to get to that UFO...!"

The human boy then took off running toward the direction of the spaceship. Zim stood there for a second before running after him, crying out "YOU'LL TAKE MY ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS AWAY IF YOU GET THERE FIRST! SLOW DOWN SO I'LL GET THERE FIRST, STINKY HYOO-MAN!"

After a few minutes of sprinting, Dib arrived in front to the UFO.

"Finally...!"

Taking out a camera, he aimed the lens at the large object and was about to take a picture when he heard a screech.

"MY ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS...!" The large headed boy was then tackled down by his green-skinned enemy.

"ZIM! GET OFF ME! I DON'T HAVE YOUR ROBOT DEATH WHATEVERS!"

"YOU'RE LYING! YOU DID STEAL THEM, YOU DIRTY, FILTHY PIG-SMELLY!" Zim had yelled right before Dib's fist had hit his face. Momentary, the Irken 'invader' was stunned, but he responded with anger afterwards.

"YOU HIT THE MIGHTY ZIM! FEEL MY WRATH OF A THOUSAND SUNS!"

Zim once again launched himself at Dib and scratched at his eyes. They fought, both hitting, kicking, and even biting each other. But soon, a voice interrupted the fight, saving Dib from one last punch.

"My, my...! You two are filled with anger, aren't you...?"

Zim and Dib's attention went to a large creature with skin a pink so bright, it was hard to look at. The creature looked like a child's toy, for it looked like it was made out of rubber and it wore a white, polka-dotted suit, causing it to look like some sort of clown. The thing also had rosy red cheeks that were as bright as it's skin and it's eyes sparkled as it looked down at the two enemies. Upon seeing it, Zim pushed Dib in front of him, while he screamed in terror.

"WHAT A TERRIFYING BEAST! EAT THE DIB-HYOOMAN, NOT ME!" Dib rolled his eyes at the Irken, muttering "Wimp,", before speaking to the creature. "Is that your ship?"

"Yeah! It is! I am Dr. Aschencoolaphant, a self-proclaimed doctor of friendship! I go around the universe, helping people make friends! Isn't that great!?"

The boy stared at the creature blankly.

"A... Doctor of Friendship...? Anyway... Why are you here?"

Dr. Aschencoolaphant smiled. "My sensors sensed that people here needed friendship~! Now I see why they went off."

Zim peered out from behind Dib. "Seeing your not a monster that plans on eating me, do you have any robot death monkeys...?"

Annoyed, Dib snapped at Zim. "He's a freaking doctor of FRIENDSHIP...! HE HAS NO ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS!"

Glaring, the Irken snarled at his enemy, saying "Shut up, insolent fool-boy...!"

"THAT'S IT!"

The two started to fight once again. Dr. Aschencoolaphant frowned and thought for a moment before getting an idea.

"Ah-ha...! You both, look over here!"

Zim and Dib were once again interrupted and looked over to the doctor. A flash of light appeared and knocked the two unconscious.

Zim was the first to awaken. The first thing he noticed was that it was now night-time. The second thing he noticed was that Dr. Aschencoolaphant and his ship were gone. And the third thing he noticed was his right hand was touching something other then grass. Looking to his right, he noticed his hand was being held by Dib, who was still passed out.

"UGH!" he cried out, and attempted to pry the human boy's hand off, but failed. "Worm-baby...! Wake up! Release my hand at once!"

Dib stirred in his sleep, but didn't awake. Zim then kicked Dib's stomach, which caused him to wake up instantly.

"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

"RELEASE MY HAND!" Zim cried out, causing Dib to notice that they were holding hands.

"Eww...!" Dib then tried to let go, but failed also. "Let go Zim!"

"I AM!"

They then noticed a piece of paper laying at their feet.

"The heck...?" Dib picked it up and read it out loud;  
>"Dear large headed-boy and tiny Irken,<br>You may have noticed your hands are stuck together. This is one of my methods I use to make people who are enemies become friends. Together, you two have to find a way to release your hands or you'll end up being stuck together for eternity. Good luck!  
>Sincerely,<br>Doctor Aschencoolaphant, doctor of friendship."

Upon Dib finishing reading the letter, Zim freaked out and started flailing his arms.

"I HAVE TO COOPERATE WITH A FILTHY HUMAN OR BE STUCK WITH HIM FOREVER!? I KNEW DR. ASCHENCOOLAPHANT WASN'T TO BE TRUSTED!"

With a sigh, Dib told Zim "Stop flailing your arms, idiot. You're distracting me..."

Stopping, Zim then attempted crossing his arms, but instead knocked Dib over.

"IDIOT!" Dib shouted while he sat back up.

"You're the idiot, Dib-stink!"

Exasperated, the boy said "Agrueing with each other will do no good. We need to get unstuck as soon as possible. And we also need to get to one of our labs before dawn so no one sees us."

"Why before dawn?" Zim asked curiously.

"Oh, just cause of something that could end with both of us getting bullied a LOT. And either way, we both want to get unstuck as soon as possible, right?"

Zim nodded, for once agreeing with his enemy.

"My house is the closest from here so, let's go there." the Irken said and got up, pulling the human boy along with. "So, which way is out of the woods again, Dib-beast...?" Zim asked and got an annoyed groan as a response.

"This way..." Dib pulled Zim along through the forest. After ten minutes and tripping several times, the two enemies stepped out of the woods and onto a sidewalk.

"Ah! Now I know my way to my house, now!" Zim said, happy he was no longer lost.

He started to run, but fell face-first alongside Dib who he had pulled down with him. "MY FACE!" Zim cried out and was then punched in the side by Dib.

"You moron! Did you forget we're stuck together or something...!?"

"No, flesh-sack, I DIDN'T. I just thought you were smart enough to run alongside me!" Dib rolled his eyes and got up.

"Anyway, we're running out of night-time, so move it, alien."

"I AM NOT AN ALIEN!" Zim shouted while getting up.

"Shut up...! Do you wanna wake up the neighborhood!?" the large-headed boy angrily whispered, causing the Irken to shut up.

They started to make their way toward Zim's house. About a block before they arrived to their destination, a car was coming down the road.

"Ahh...!" Dib panicked, fearing one of his classmates were in the car or maybe a police man who would question why are they out late and why they're holding hands. He quickly made his way into the bushes with Zim.

"Insolent fool-boy! Why did you drag me into the bushes!? I almost lost one of my contacts!"

"Like I CARE if you lose a contact, and there's a car. There's a possibility it's one of our classmates." Dib peeked out of the bushes and saw the car was gone. Annoyed, Zim then pulled Dib out of the bushes and continued to make his way to his house.


	2. Chapter 2

When Zim and Dib finally arrived in front of Zim's house, his robot parents opened the door and greeted them with their usual "Welcome home, son!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Zim mumbled, him and Dib pushing past the dim-witted machines.

"MASTAH! You're home!" a high-pitched voice squealed with delight as Gir bounded into the room. The happy-go-lucky robot smiled happily until he spotted his master's enemy. Within a split second, his bright, cyan eyes turned a scarlet color and his smile faded away.

"Sir, an intruder is present. Do you wish me to dispose of him?" the normally happy voice of Zim's minion now sounded grave and serious as his head opened up and a large gun for Dib's head.

"Uh, no. Seeing the dirty Dib-pig and me are stuck together, I'd rather not have to carry a dead body around." Zim said, saddened that he couldn't have his enemy killed at that moment. When Zim finished his sentence, the scarlet eyes of the robot turned back to their normal color and Gir smiled once more.

"Okie-dokie, Master! And hi, Dibby!" Dib gave the cheerful robot a quizzical look as he started to bounce around the room on his head.

"Did you just call me 'Dibby'...?"

"Yes. I did." Gir stated before taking a flying leap at Dib's large head.

"By the way, your head smells like a SQUIRREL!" he yelled happily.

"Well, I DID just come from the woods." the human boy told the robot whose eyes widen suddenly.

"DID YOU SEE A SQUIRREL!?" Gir screamed in Dib's face and then pried off him by Zim.

"ENOUGH! I need to contact the Tallest about my predicament...!"

Zim zoomed toward the kitchen and went toward the garbage can. Suddenly, he realized that after Dib and him get unstuck, Dib would remember how to get in his secret lab and might try to sabotage his plans.

"Before we go down to my lab, I need to do something first."

"What?"

"This." Zim had grabbed a near-by frying pan and swung it at Dib's head. Dib was only allowed a small yelp before being knocked out cold.  
>~<p>

Zim had carried his enemy to his lab, because that was the only way he could fit both of them down the trash-chute that lead to his lab.

Upon getting to his lab, Zim dropped Dib on the floor and dragged the unconscious boy to where he sends transmissions to the Tallest. He then pressed a button and his rulers appeared on a large screen.

The both of them were sitting at a table, drinking poop cola and gorging on large pile of doughnuts while playing a board game. Tallest Red looked up from his game and frowned when he saw Zim.

"Oh, hi Zim..." Tallest Red spoke in a flat voice and went back to playing the game with his co-ruler.

"Hello, my Almighty Tallest. My mission is on a stand-still due to a creepy doctor of 'friendship'."

"Doctor of friendship...? That's a stupid title." Tallest Purple said in between sips of poop cola.

"Yes. It DOES sound stupid. But even with the weak-sounding title of 'doctor of friendship', he managed to stop my mission."

Zim lifted his right arm up, revealing the sleeping human stuck to him.

Glancing up from the game, Tallest Purple stated "Oh, it's that kid again."

"The evil Dr. Aschencoolaphant stuck me to a sack of flesh. And not just any sack of flesh, but the one that tries to stop me from completing my mission...!"

As if he knew he they were talking about him, Dib woke up.

"Huh...?"

Upon seeing the Tallest, he quickly stood up.

"IT'S ZIM'S LEADERS! WHERE IN THE UNIVERSE ARE YOU!? WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIES' WEAKNESSES!?"

Zim's eyes narrowed and he glared at Dib for a moment before looking back at the Almighty Tallest.

"Please ignore this ignorant beast, my Tallest. And anyway, I just came to tell you about this 'Dr. Aschencoolaphant'. He's PURE EVIL...! So, if you ever meet him, please shoot him with lasers."

"Sure...! We'll get right on it...! It'd be our top priority!" Tallest Red said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

But despite the blatant sarcasm in his leaders voice, the small Irken thought he was serious.

"Really!? Thank you, my Tallest! I knew you'll get rid of him!" Zim said, delighted that the Tallest 'cared' so much on this matter.

"Um. Tall alien leaders. You haven't answered my questions. And I also have some more questions."

Zim once again glared at Dib, who ignored it and continued to speak.

"What galaxy are you in? Why did you send Zim to Earth? What is your society like? Why are you obsessed with invading the universe? What is Earth's chances of defeating your forces?"

Dib blabbered on and on, asking question after question. After what felt like the millionth question, the Almighty Tallest gave each other a look and, as if they read each other's thoughts, nodded in agreement. "I'll be right back."

Tallest Purple stood up and went out of view. Once he was completely out of sight, a noise similar to the sound of a person making fake static noises was heard.

"Oh, did you say something? I can't hear you. A... uh... A meteor shower is interrupting the transmission. We'll have to call you back." Tallest Red said as he pushed a button.

The transmission then ended, leaving the human and the Irken alone in front of a blank screen.

"Meteor showers can interrupt transmissions...?" Zim thought out loud, causing Dib to face-palm.


	3. Chapter 3

Dib sighed at his enemy's stupidity.

"No, meteors don't interrupt transmissions. At least, I think..." Zim laughed loudly. "Ha! The Mighty Zim didn't know the Dib-filth could _THINK_...!"  
>This statement caused him to get a punch to the Squeedily-Spooch. "Anyway, Zim, let's focus on getting unstuck. Because I don't wanna spend the rest of my life stuck to YOU."<p>

"Zim seconds that, worm-sack! _COMPUTER_!" Zim shouted, causing Dib to wince slightly from the loud noise.

"_Yes_, Zim?" a voice responded in a sort of annoyed tone. "I was playing Solitaire, what do you want?" The Irken looked at the computer questioningly.

"_Sole-it-tear_? What is this _'Sole-it-tear' _you speak of?"

The computer responded, "It's a card game."

"Oh ok. TO THE INTERNET, COMPUTER!"

Something that sort of resembled an Earth search engine popped up in Irken. "Hey, can you put it in English?" Dib asked, his brow furrowed as he looked at the alien writing.

"Zim can, _but_... Zim won't."

Dib sighed in slight frustration as Zim browsed the intergalactic internet while humming a song. Silence followed briefly before Dib spoke.

"Are you humming Taylor Swift...?"

"NO. The _MIGHTY_ Zim is _NOT_ humming songs by the hyooman with relationship problems! And AH HA! FOUND HIM!" Zim yelled excitedly.

He clicked and a colorful site with picture of Dr. Aschencoolaphant appeared.

"Yup," Dib said. "This is definitely about him."

The Irken invader scrolled down the site, reading. He whistled a slight melody as he read. As he did this, Dib became slightly impatient. "Why don't you just translate it from your language to English? It'd be much easier."

"_SILENCE_! ZIM NEEDS _SILENCE_!" he shouted before continuing reading. After few minutes of Zim whistling and Dib tapping his foot, Zim finished.

"I AM FINISHED READING!"

"Ok. And you _DO_ realize you can say stuff at a normal volume, right...?"

Zim ignored him and said, "This Dr. Aschencoolaphant is from Planet Kuddle... The smiley face sticker planet. His mission is to promote universal happiness and cooperation. What a FILTHY mission!"

Dib shrugged. "I disagree. I think it's a pretty good mission. Though, I wish he just didn't stick US together."

"There's also a message board. It is filled with overly-enthusiastic Kuddlians. The cheerfulness makes Zim sick."

"Soooo... Anything on how to get unstuck?"

Zim shuddered. "Oh, yes. There are many ways. But the Mighty Zim dislikes them... Zim dislikes them _all_..."

_~Author's Note~_

_I am sorry for the lack of chapters for the past year and a few months. I wish I could give some long list of reasons I couldn't write, but sadly, there's really only one reason. I'm just really, really lazy. I'm also sorry for the short chapter (;-)_


End file.
